1. Mum or Dad was sick, I had to rush home unannounced. I still dey hospital now. (Hospital or hotel room? Which one sis?)
2. I was very sick, couldn't even pick calls. (Or Buhari that is sick and still making calls to some selected Nigerians and even Trump, is his own not also sickness?)
3. My parents or senior brother visited, I couldn't leave the house. (So of all days na today ur papa find time come visit abi?)
4. My phone was down, no light to charge. (Hmmmmm, this one u can't argue o, cos NEPA na fuck up)
5. Network was very bad, couldn't even make calls, I expected your call, why didn't u call? (after she don't put ur number for #Blacklist abi?)
6. My flow started that afternoon and it was so painful... I couldn't even walk...( #Uwakfid, na 14the Feb good for that thin to come abi?)
7. My lecturer fixed a 7am class and test the next morning, I had to stay back and read my books. My books first mbok. (For where, na wash!, just tell him u don't love him abeg, so can't u read for my house?)
8. We had a Single's programme in our church, and pastor preached a message that really touched me, I couldn't hear such message and still go out again (God go so punish that ur lying mouth, idiot, which message? Sunday nite u still dey commot, Pastor no dey preach?)
9. What is Val sef.... Abeg that thing na for small children. (Really??? but u just enter house by 5am o! Thunder!... Where went u? Evangelism abi)
10. Didn't just feel like going out! Anytime I feel reluctant to go anywhere, it's always a signal of danger. So I stay indoors! (Sis, u really tried. Signal of danger abi? When u want chop fried rice and chicken, u don't sense danger. Waka!)
Culled from Ah
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