Ita Awak gave us a good laugh yesterday at the venue of Akon Eyakenyi's son's child dedication. And the joke was on me. How did it all begin? I can't recall but I reckon it had to do with someone saying "Ehe, Ita Awak onung agab ilè," loosely interpreted as "Ita Awak has exposed himself again." And when enquired what it was he'd done again all was referred to a write up by the engineer titled "UDOM STOP THE CAROLS FRAUD"
Immediately, somebody asked what the contents were about and another voice explained that it was accusing the state government of wasting state funds on carols.
"Owoh k'offid nwed emu nda'n Oku onyi efak se ku investment tourism?" So in all his learnedness he doesn't know what they cal investment tourism? One Engineer Uweh asked. Quickly, everyone jumped into how the Christmas carol was in so many ways both an investors and tourists attraction to the state citing examples of how all the hotels in the whole of Uyo were fully booked over the weekend as a result of the Nigeria vs Algeria match. Somebody even lamented how difficult it's been for him to book a flight out of Uyo. That was when somebody now mentioned that Ita Awak mentioned in the article that he was in a flight with one Yoruba chap who equally criticized the Christmas carol?
"Nda, onwi Yoruba omu emu eme owambe su nsi edi kod izai Udom ku N'tak carol 'o". My friend a Yoruba man coming from the stock that love celebration (owambe) more than anything else can't criticize Udom over carols. One Elder Julius dismissed the claim.
"Nsu! Flight su ki ebak o', it's a lie, there's no flight! Murphy faulted the claim.
"Nda, nko nda'n ede nu engineer 'am nkong nnu'om? Afo afak no onyi ma ogusa eke bak ku engine compartment?"
My friend, I thought he's an engineer like me, do you know if he was with the Yoruba chap inside the engine compartment? Engr. Uweh teased.
"It's true, after all, he works as aviation engineer" Alaba added.
"At where, in the witch craft world? Murphy asked.
"Ehhh! Oku Ita ifo? Ku'yak onwi egei oh". Are you calling Ita a wizard? Don't let people here you oh" Uweh warned.
"I'm not accusing him of witch craft I'm only saying that he's not an aviation engineer but except it has to do with mystical engineering." Murphy explained himself to our laughs and just when the laughs were tuning down Alaba enquired.
"So why does his Facebook profile show he's an engineer working with an aviation company?"
"What did you want it to show, 'Mystical Engineer working at APC Ancient Temple?'" Murphy quipped. It was unbelievable the guffaw that followed.
"Afo afak m'onu civil engineer? O' ku'mi'nu nda'n asanga ofuo airport" Do you know if he's a civil engineer? Maybe he's been going about building airports. Uko added choking with laughter and more laughter followed.
"No, you're not current. He's changed that profile to read 'studied aircraft maintenance engineering at Nigerian College of Aviation"' Engr. Uweh informed us.
"Sa yak, owo efu efak ku Ita Awak onu information engineer? Nda'n osunsu for a living!" Forget about that, so you guys don't even know that Ita Awak is an information engineer? The guy lies for a living! Deacon Eseme chipped in cracking our ribs farther.
"Lai Muhammed II, no wonder he states on his Facebook profile that he is a self employed Writer/Business Man." Alaba added and we almost choked with laughter.
"Offong onwi, asanga rigi odongo ku eti en osunsu for a living? Sir, how do you know that the man lies for a living? I asked.
"Se mu, nko edoho k'ofu onu lawyer, uku'oku su uluso ewed? Young man, I thought they say you're a lawyer? Didn't you read what your uncle wrote? He charged me. And somehow the laughs had frizzled probably due to his tone. He's not really been laughing all along.
But before I could gesture that I'd read the piece he continued.
"Didn't you see that he wrote that no governor be it military or civilian has ever celebrated Christmas carol in akwa ibom state? Where were you when Obong Attah contracted Laz Ekweme to run a Christmas Carol at Ibom hall? He asked me now sounding irked?
"No sir, I think the question should be where was Ita Awak when..." A voice behind tried to bail me out.
"Why?" He interrupted the voice.
"Because barrister here is a returnee!" The voice nailed me and everyone fell into an ocean of laughter again. Myself and the irked deacon were not excluded.
OKPO EWA EDMUND II
lawyer, arbitrator, literati.
Presently, serving as Supervisor for Tourism, Ethical Reorientation and Dakkada Initiative at Okobo LG, Akwa Ibom State.
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